The Evolution of Ego; the Unveiling of Soul
My intention was to call this blog The Evolution of Soul, when I realized it is not the soul that requires evolution. It is already evolved: pure, perfect, and divine. In fact, the word evolved in and of itself is such a human concept, steeped in ego. Upon reflecting on the massive transformation I have made this past year, I had the most interesting image of what occurred and what occurs when we do our personal work and look deep within our bellies at the things we don’t always want to see. The image is that of a painted window. The more willing we are to embrace our shadow, to make changes, to be hideously honest with ourselves; we begin to scratch the paint. The more we look, grow, and change our patterns, behaviors, and thoughts; the more the paint chips away. Just when we think we are done, the window tells us there is more scraping to do. The more we scrape, the light on the other side begins to reveal itself- patiently waiting to shine through the window. The light has always been there. Everyone’s light is the same divine perfection. The more we are willing to scrape, chip, and reveal the light; the brighter it will shine. It is our yearning, our searching, our deep reflection of humanness that reveals the soul within. Perhaps it is easier to go through life with a painted window, but in doing so we deny ourselves the very thing that we came here for. When does our window shine fully clear, no evidence of a once chipped-up surface? Personally, I do not believe that is attained or meant to be attained in this human life. For without it, we are no longer human. I do not expect to meet a living person free from shadow and if one claims this to be true, well the answer is right there. We are all a marvelous blend of soul and ego, and it is the places where they meet that make our hearts race with the anticipation of things we have yet to experience.
Some periods in our lives have more paint-scraping than others. This past year was certainly one for me. As a person who has been actively doing self-work for a decade, I did not expect such an upheaval. This, however, is a good reminder that we are never really done and that life is about how we navigate through it. Contrary to the belief that the path of “soul revealing” is filled with angels and butterflies; my experience definitely felt more like paint-scraping with Brillo-pads and razors. As uncomfortable, heartbreaking, painful, and difficult as it was; the universe did what it had to do to get me to listen. Well, truth be told, I had listened and opted not to take any action. So, I was forced to, and it wasn’t pretty. Apparently, dilly-dallying at one’s paint removal is frowned upon when the universe has been urging you to power wash. What seemed out of my control at the time, blasted a nice sheet of paint clean off my window. The more paint that was removed, the more I looked within and slowly began to see truths that had been hiding under the very things that were removed from my life. Things like security, old stories on repeat, denial, and self-worth. Things like allowing the words and actions of others to fester deep inside until they have no place to go and burst out into your spinal column. Things like owning that I allowed that to happen in the first place by choosing mutism when I should have yelled. Things like dulling my light to placate others who did not understand it. The processes that took place to reveal these truths and so many others, led to processes of healing. The processes of healing led to spiritual truths and experiences that span far beyond what my human brain can comprehend. My spiritual work for myself and others has deepened beyond my wildest imagination. The way I walk in this world is brand new. I will never be the same. Some people don’t recognize me, and this has sent them away. Another truth of shadow work. Others have welcomed me home, celebrating my safe return to who I have always been destined to be. Many people have told me that I even look different; that my eyes are different. I am a different person than I was almost exactly one year ago. But, my soul is the same. You can just see more of it now.
By Melanie Lynn